Snow White

Fairy tales have been around since the dawn of time .Some are famous,some are not so well known and some are just weird. The first fairy tale I will talk about is Snow White . You think you know the story of Snow White,you don't know the half of it. Our story starts out with a queen sitting at her window and sewing expressing her desire to have a child,but not just any child oh no,this queen has specifications in mind. A child with "Hair as black as night,lips as red as blood and face as pale as snow". The queen gets her wish,but then she croaks ,go figure,so the king remarries and new queen is a witch with a capital"B" so obsessed with her looks that she has a magic mirror that assures her that she is the most fair in all the land. Of course all good things do come to an end and seven years later the mirror is singing someone else's praises and who is the new fairest one in the land,yep,it's Snow White. The queen predictably is jealous,but hold on if you've only seen the movie versions of Snow White she is portrayed as a young teenager however I am talking about the story and in the story,Snow White is a seven year old kid so why is the queen jealous,who knows. Of course the queen won't take this lying down and she orders her huntsman to take the child into the woods and kill her and as proof that the little girl is indeed dead,she demands that he bring back her organs,so she could eat them (gross,I don't know about you,but I like a good bowl of cereal for breakfast or bacon and eggs). Of course the huntsman feels sorry for the little girl and can't bring himself to kill her,so he tells her to hide in the woods. Hold on,let's stop there,I have a problem with this,one she's a princess,I doubt she's ever stepped foot in the woods without an escort and two she's a little kid ,how is she supposed to survive ? Luckily for us and her,she comes across a house owned by seven dwarfs who do not have cute little names to go with their personalities the whole name thing was Walt Disney's idea.The dwarfs tell the little girl she could stay provided she clean,cook and do other chores for them.The queen thinking she is now the fairest in the land asks her mirror to tell her who is the fairest unfortunately the answer is not what she expects and she resolves to solve this problem once and for all.Leave it alone,Queenie. Her first disguise is as a peddler and despite warnings from the dwarfs to not open the door to any strangers while they are out,Snow White can't resist and opens the door. The "peddler" shows Snow White sashes of every colour and when Snow White tells her she has no money,she insists that it's a gift and perhaps she could"Tie it around the pretty little maiden" . The queen proceeds to tie the sash so tight that Snow White stops breathing and falls down senseless. Since she looks dead,the queen leaves thinking she is now the fairest in the land.(She's not) .The dwarfs come home to see their slave( I mean charge) in a dead faint . They remove the sash and again warn Snow White not to open the door to anyone. She does the very next day and this time it's poisoned combs .I really think the queen should check for a pulse before she leaves. Once again the dwarfs save the day and again warn Snow White not to open the door . This time she listens and tells the elderly apple woman that she can't open the door . Apple lady insists on giving Snow White an apple and so as not to be rude Snow White takes it,eats it and you know the rest.But do you? .Well let's continue on shall we.In the Disney version the prince battles the queen ,however,in the story the prince never even saw the queen,in the Disney version Snow White is in a field ,in the real story,she's in a tower .The prince hearing about her beauty desires to take the comatose princess back to his castle(why?). But as the servants are moving the coffin the piece of apple that was stuck in the corner of Snow White's lip falls out and she wakes up.There is no kiss involved. As for the queen,she is forced to dance in iron hot shoes until she keels over .Nice . Next up is Sleeping Beauty . Not the Disney version either